The Dance of Change… and being prepared for new adventures

A friend posted/ shared this on FaceBook in September.

Changing Courses?
It’s okay to be you!
Published: September 16, 2013

CHANGING COURSE in your life, whether you have been forced to (redundancy, retirement, health issues) or have chosen to (returning to education, setting up your own business, travelling the world), brings fantastic opportunities even though the start of your new journey can be daunting and stressful.

There are numerous positive outcomes that changing course in your life brings about. One of those is that it allows you to rediscover the “real you” by ripping out all the things you’ve gathered over the years that aren’t you. You now have an opportunity to examine the views and opinions that you’ve accumulated or formulated over the course of your life, but which you don’t actually believe; to stop conforming and just “going along with the crowd”; to spend your time doing things that you really enjoy.

Accepting that it’s okay to be yourself can be an extremely liberating feeling, and changing course gives you the platform and the impetus for doing all of this. It’s a new beginning, a fresh start.

This is a second chance to be the person you actually want to be. I would imagine that you were in this position at some earlier stage in your life – perhaps when you were around 18, when you went off to university or college, or started your first job. You had all those ideas and beliefs about what you wanted to achieve in life, but at some point along the road, you started to conform and take on jobs or roles which you would never have imagined yourself doing when you were young.

Maybe, too, you started to form opinions that you didn’t really believe in – it was just what the ‘crowd’ did. Perhaps you started doing things not because you loved doing them, or because they gave you a purpose, but because it was the easiest route to take. You conformed. You followed the crowd.

But changing course gives you the chance to alter that. It allows you to accept that it’s okay to be you again. It means that whoever you are, whatever you’re planning to do, and whatever your dreams are for the future, you will be yourself. And that’s okay. In fact, it’s far more than that. It means you’ll be living with integrity in everything that you do. And living with integrity will bring fulfillment and meaning to your life.

So yes, it is okay to be yourself.

Most people don’t get the opportunity to say that. They know that the role or job they do won’t allow it. In their hearts and in their minds, they may be desperate to change course, but they don’t do it. They continue with things that don’t give them any real feelings of satisfaction, worth or joy. They blend in and conform.

So try and see changing course in your life as the opportunity to be you again – the person you always wanted to be and do the things you will love doing.

Neil Francis has many years of experience as a CEO, non-executive director and director. He is also a caddie at The North Berwick Golf Club. Currently he is a director of two internet companies, a social enterprise that creates partnerships between Scottish and Rwandan individuals and companies, and a consultancy practice that helps companies and individuals change course. ~ Neil Frances

Perfect timing!

I’ve switched courses a number of times in my life. Each time getting closer to my authentic self.

It is never easy, but it is rewarding; once I am able to get through the muck and mire… and the doubts…

It’s the doubts that kill me. I THINK that I am being my authentic self, and at the time I most likely am being authentic (as authentic as I can be).

Maybe authenticity comes with age. Maybe it comes with experience. Maybe it comes with age AND experience.

The older I get, the less I care what other people think about me.

I try to do my best all of the time. I try to be kind, caring and thoughtful. To be “good” – as in, being a good person.

Being “good” is different from being “the best”. I believe that if you have a good heart and approach life with a spirit of love and caring, that you will get back what you put out there and much more.

Sure, there are times when my life seems to suck… So am I getting back what I put out there?

When things get “sucky” I use the experience as a time of self reflection.

What can I do differently to draw more positive energy and light in my direction?

How can I change my behavior or response to the situation to create a different outcome?

There are times when I have found that the only thing I can do is walk away. Tough to come to that decision when it involves people that you genuinely care about. Necessary sometimes to ensure your own survival.

I feel more confident about who I am as a person than I ever have before. I believe that part of this is because I have found myself, that I am setting expectations for what I will and will not accept in my life, and that I am no longer afraid of being rejected. By anyone.

Yes, I do still experience doubt, hurt and rejection. I let the experiences guide me. I allow myself the opportunity to feel these experiences, but I no longer allow them to define me.

The freedom this change in perspective has brought to me is really indescribable.

I am happier, healthier and stronger. The most notable change has been in my relationships.

Guided by four principles, I ask myself these questions when speaking or making decisions that impact others:

• Is it timely? I try to focus on the present. Bringing up past wrongs or not dealing with issues in a timely manner really doesn’t help. Reminds me of the analogy of punishing a dog long after they’ve done something wrong. The dog pees on the floor early in the day, you come home after work and find the pee and then punish your dog. The dog doesn’t understand why you are punishing them… You have to address issues when they happen or the meaning gets lost.
• Is it true? This is about perception. Is what you perceived what was intended? If you are sharing your perceptions are you being as honest and fair as you can be? Are you open to hearing a different perspective?
• Is it considerate? Even if what your are saying is true, will it help to share your thoughts or perception? What if you know that what you will say or do will hurt someone else? How would you like to be treated in this case?
• Does it add value? Not everything I say or do adds value. When I am assessing the situation I may choose to say or do nothing if it will not change or improve a situation. My goal is to add value. To contribute to making things better. I use this as a guide.

Who am I?

I am a complex creature that is still evolving. Getting more comfortable in my skin each day. Learning to love and appreciate the variety of people and experiences that I am fortunate to encounter on this journey called LIFE.

Today I came across an article that is very enlightening.  These are practices I have held for many years and are why I am comfortable and confident pursuing a career as a consultant.  I’ve done this before and I can do it again.

Why it’s Smart to be Prepared to Leave Your Job on a Moment’s Notice : Truth and Details. by Aimee Voelz October 16, 2014